About Lani

Lani Lynn Vale is an American author of humorous romantic suspense novels. Born in the Great State of Texas, she has lived the majority of her adult life in East Texas where most of her novels are based. She’s married to her high school sweetheart whom her readers refer to as “LLV’s Bearded Half.” She published her first novel, Boomtown. in the summer of 2013 after the birth of her third child. She’s gone on to publish over 100 novels, with most of them going on to become USA Today Bestsellers.

Lani Lynn Vale

What’s your favorite quote?

Men are usually too focused on the cleavage in the shirt to see the crazy in the eyes. —Life Lesson

—Lani Lynn Vale, Center Mass

If one door closes and another suddenly opens… your house is probably haunted.

—Lani Lynn Vale, Last Day of My Life

You can tell a woman’s mood by watching her hands. For instance, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

—Lani Lynn Vale, Texas Tornado

If you want to see bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning, look out the window. Because I’m not a f*cking squirrel.

—Lani Lynn Vale, Vodka on the Rocks

Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to bend them in half until they break, and then shake the shit out of them until their light turns on.

—Lani Lynn Vale, Hail Mary

Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

—Lani Lynn Vale, Another One Bites the Dust

Don’t half ass anything. Whatever you do, use your full ass. —Coffee Cup

—Lani Lynn Vale, Center Mass

When a woman says “What,” it’s not because she didn’t hear you, it’s because she’s giving you a chance to amend your answer.

—Lani Lynn Vale, Texas Tornado

It’s throat punch Thursday, and I’m offering free tickets.

—Lani Lynn Vale, Life to My Flight

Merchandise

Shop items & clothing inspired by Lani Lynn Vale’s books.

T-Shirt "I don't curse. I speak fluent trucker with a sailor dialect and a construction accent"
KPD SWAT design stainless cup inspired by Lani Lynn Vale’s books
Dixie Wardens MC Shirt
"Ride or Die Chick" T-Shirt
Christmas shirt "I Love Them Real Thick and Sprucy"
Bear Bottom Guardians MC Shirt

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